


Things I wish I said before

by GillyJeans21



Category: Sex Education (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:47:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28453344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GillyJeans21/pseuds/GillyJeans21
Summary: My depiction of season 3 of Sex Education. Jean's relationships with Jakob and his girls and herself and Otis.
Relationships: Jean Milburn/Jakob Nyman
Kudos: 49





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first sex education story, I hope it's decent!  
> Starts kind of angsty and sad but soon becoming fluff and romance with potential smut near the end.

She had not expected any kind of overly positive reaction, the bombshell of a baby when you’re nearing fifty and had a vasectomy is shocking, but she equally expected more than silence. 

A silence that was deafening, piercing her eardrums as his glossy blue eyes grew colder, staring through her like she was a ghost. 

“Jakob?” 

Her voice cracked, barely audible as she spoke, hoping to bring him out of his revere. 

“Please Jakob, say something.” 

Her heart pounded in her chest, her eardrums ringing, and her mind clouded in thoughts that made her stomach churn. Her stomach, the dull ache of nausea building from the pit of her insides, rising until her eyes stung and her throat burned from forcing the vomit to stay put. 

“Euhhh” 

Her legs moved fast, as she sprinted up the stairs, forcefully pushing through the bathroom door and spewing into the porcelain bowl. Her chest heaving as she emptied everything from within, her body shaking. 

“Jean, shhh it’s okay” 

His hand was warm and solid against her back, rubbing soft circles over the clothed skin, his fingers tracing her spine as she settled back on her heels. 

“Here, wipe your mouth” Jakob whispered, handing over a wad of tissue. 

Jean inhaled sharply as she flushed, her cheeks rosy with a slight blush. Tears remained in her eyes, but she blinked them back angrily. 

“I’ll make you tea” 

Her crystal blue eyes followed his figure as he exited the tiled room, her legs still unsteady as she stood. A moments contemplation, and a few deep breaths calmed her nerves enough to follow him. 

She sat awkwardly at the table across from him. Something all to formal and interrogative about their positions. She glanced over at the couch, remembering the times they had shared upon it. 

“Jean...I do not know what you want me to say” 

His voice was rough, filled with emotion. His cool eyes had softened but his shoulders remained tense. 

“I know it is a shock... I didn’t think it was possible...”

“I had a vasectomy Jean”

“Yes, I know but...”

“Jean...”

Her brow furrowed in realisation, noting the force in Jakob’s tone. 

“You do not believe the baby is yours?” 

It sounded more like a question, but she knew exactly what he was thinking. 

“Jean, you said you kissed Remi, I ...”

“Kissed him Jakob. I only kissed him. I swear, I did not sleep with him, nor anyone else” 

She practically pleaded with him to believe her. Hurt to her core that he would think so low of her. 

“I... the vasectomy” 

He sounded guilty; his voice filled with emotion. Eyes glued to the cup of lemon tea cradled in his calloused hands. She knew he had not meant to sound accusing, knew he felt bad for his assumptions. 

“There is always a chance of a vasectomy not working. It is slim but possible.”

“And you are sure?” 

“I am, the doctor confirmed it Jakob” 

“A baby” 

“Yes” 

Silence fell between them once more, a silence that grew uncomfortable until she could bare it no more. 

“I will give you some time Jakob, I do not expect anything from you” 

She stood on unsteady legs and headed for the door, stopping to peer back to his frozen frame. 

“I am truly sorry Jakob” 

The door closed behind her and then the white-hot tears fell, cascading down her cheeks uncontrollably flowing like a river in a storm. 

It had been three days since Jeans revelation, and three days of silence from Jakob. Her chest hurt immeasurably, the pain ripping through her. She barley ate and when she did, she brought it back up. She knew Otis was growing suspicious, her stomach bug story could not last much longer. She wandered if Jakob had told his girls, wandered if it was something they should discuss together. Except they were not a family, not really and besides, Jakob seemed to be uninterested. 

“Mum, are you okay?” Otis called 

Jean noted the time. Eight am, she never stayed upstairs past seven, always up to see Otis off for school. 

“Fine darling, just overslept” 

“Are you erm, still sick mum?” 

“No, I am... the bug just knocked me out, needed to catch up on some sleep.”

“Do you need anything?”

“No, no, have a great day at school” 

“Thanks mum, see you later” 

Jean waited for the front door to slam shut before sobbing uncontrollably into her pillow. 

“Damn hormones” she grumbled, muffled by the cotton. 

It was almost three when she sent the text to Jakob. It had taken hours to compose, afraid to sound too desperate, or too needy. She had told him she did not expect anything, was his silence confirmation that he was not interested. Was he still just thinking? 

Jakob, I have an appointment next Thursday at four, at the hospital. Baby scan. You do not have to come, but if you do wish to then you may. I have not yet told Otis, I really think we need to talk before I do. I can meet you somewhere. Let me know. 

Jean x 

His phone dinged loudly, disturbing his thoughts. Glancing over at the name he felt his heart skip a beat. Guilt had wracked his brain at keeping Jean at arm’s length, his silence unforgiving. He hated to cause pain, but he had yet to take in the shock of their news. His phone dinged once more, a reminder of the unread text. This time he opened it, reading carefully the words. 

We need to talk 

She was right, they did, and he needed to apologise for his reaction or lack of. His girls were still in the dark, and honestly, he was afraid to tell them alone. He text back quickly, hoping he did not sound to abrupt, but Ola was calling out as she returned from school. 

Yes we can talk, tomorrow. Cafe, 10 in morning

Jakob


	2. Chapter Two

Jean waited patiently at her table in the corner, a cup of ginger tea in her hands. She was nervous and emotional, impossibly tired from the lack of sleep. The clock on the wall ticked by noisily, her senses heightened by hormones. He was late, but then that wasn’t unusual. Jean had learnt early on that Jakobs time keeping was almost as awful as his driving. The possibility that he had stood her up crossed her mind, and then the door opened. A cool rush of air filtering through and sending shivers up her spine. She looked over, a small smile gracing her lips that he mirrored. He nodded at her tea, silently asking if she wanted another. She smiled gratefully, feeling rude to refuse despite knowing she would be constantly peeing all day. 

He headed over with a tray, two cups of tea and a slice of carrot cake on a small plate. He placed the tray down and took a seat, handing out drinks and pushing the cake towards her. 

“You should eat” 

“I... I am not very hungry”

“The baby needs food” 

She wanted to question his choice of sugary treat but decided against it. Lifting the fork, she helped herself to a small bite, forcefully chewing and swallowing. 

“How are you?” Jakob asked, his voice gruff. 

Jean wanted to snap, to accuse him of unfairly ignoring her but a public outcry would do no favours for her. Besides, his eyes melted her. 

“I’m okay” 

A small smile tugged at his lips. 

“I am sorry for the distance” 

She was annoyed, but she had not actually expected an apology. 

“I understand”

“No, I was wrong” 

“Thank you Jakob” 

“I was in shock, I still am” 

“Me to Jakob” 

His body softened as though he were letting out a held breath. His large fingers tracing the ripples of his takeaway cup. He had a thing about takeaway cups, insisting his drink be in one even when drinking in. 

You get more in it, Jean 

His words rung in her ears as she remembered there first coffee date. 

“I don’t know where to start” she whispered softly. 

“Maybe we should have not stopped using condoms” Jakob mumbled in an attempt at humour. 

“Maybe” 

“Jean, look... I did not expect to find myself in this position once more. I have my girls and...”

Jeans heart sunk at his words, but she had told herself not to expect anything from him. She had learnt from Remi to never expect to avoid disappointment. 

“I told you, I do not expect any help...if you do not want...”

“Jean, please let me finish” 

Their eyes met in silence, there finger tips dancing across the table, edging closer to the other without ever touching. 

“I am old now Jean. I thought I was passed this. I made a decision a long time ago...my wife and I made the decision to have no more children. We had all we needed with our girls. You know that you are the first woman I have been with since my...since my wife.” 

The words caught in his throat, still a topic raw to discuss. 

“I did not expect you in my life, I did not expect to ever have another relationship, so this...a new baby, it is difficult to accept. It is not an excuse for my behaviour this week. I know this can’t be easy on you either” 

Jean felt the tears tickling her eyes and she looked up and blinked, trying desperately not to cry in front of Jakob, let alone in public.

“For so long it has been just me and Otis. I never allowed anyone else to get close for fear of breaking the bond with my son, and for fear or being...of being....” 

Jean coughed to cover the emotion in her voice. She wanted to say she was afraid of being hurt. Wanted to tell Jakob she was hurt, and she was also sorry for her own actions but years of bottling up everything prevented her. 

“Jakob, I have thought about my options, our options. I know that it... it may be easier to have an, abortion” 

The word stuck in her throat, coated in guilt and the possibility. Jean was not against anyone who felt that option was the best one for them, but she just couldn’t bring herself to go through with it herself. 

“I can’t do that. My age is risk enough. If this pregnancy is not meant to be, my body will deal with it itself” Jean explained, a reasoning she has settled in after days of contemplation. 

“You wish to keep this baby” Jakob asked, needing confirmation. 

“I do, and I just need to know if you would like to be a part of this baby’s life” 

Jean let the question hang in the air, avoiding Jakob’s blue eyes. She was a strong woman, but the possibility of raising a child on her own, at her age, scared her. 

“Our baby” Jakob mumbled. 

“Huh?”

“You said this baby... you mean our baby” 

Jean frowned and raised her gaze. She had learnt to understand his foreign ambiguity but, in the moment, she was afraid to read into his words. 

“I need you to say it”

Jakob sighed; his lips failed to offer much of a smile, but his eyes sparkled behind the emotion. 

“I want to be a part of our babies’ life, Jean.” 

His words warmed her heart and relaxed her slightly. Her breathing hitched as she composed herself, wiping the rogue tear that fell and mingled with her now cooling tea. 

“We erm...I guess...we must tell Otis and your girls” Jean whispered. 

She wanted to ask about them, about their own relationship, if there was one but she was too afraid of the answer. She had already tried to get Jakob back and been turned down. She not only feared she had no pride left to ask once more, but she also didn’t want him to think she was only asking because of the pregnancy. 

“Let’s wait until Thursday, we should wait until we know the baby is okay” Jakob reasoned. 

“Okay” 

“Eat Jean” Jakob remained, tapping the play impatiently. 

Jean spent most of Thursday morning being sick, trying her hardest to muffle the sounds so as not to worry Otis. She had managed to hold her stomach long enough to wave him off before lurching for the kitchen sink. A hot shower and a handful of appointments passed the time before Jakob would collect her. He had recently received his license back, much to Ola’s delight. 

The drive to the hospital was mainly filled with silence, save for the soft Swedish music that played from the stereo. Jakob’s driving had been surprisingly careful, something Jean hoped would continue. They headed into the hospital together, Jakob slightly behind Jean almost as protection, his hand hovering near her lower back but never touching. 

“Ms Milburn, please take a seat through there, Dr Abbots will call you through shortly.” 

Jean nodded politely and led the way, the pressure on her bladder already bothering her. She hated the full bladder memo that came with pregnancy scans. 

It provides a better view of your baby

The doctor’s words wafted through her mind as she glanced at the clock. Her appointment was supposed to be two minutes ago but felt like an eternity.

“Are you okay?” Jakob asked softly. 

“Yes, fine” Jean snapped abruptly. 

Jakob retreated slightly in his chair before Jean turned back towards him. 

“I just have to pee a little, they make me drink water, it gives a better view of the baby” 

Jakob of course new this from his wife’s experience but he nodded in understand as though hearing this for the first time. 

“Ms Jean Milburn?” 

The cool gel was squeezed across her belly, as the doctors moved the prob around. Jean crossed her legs and turned her attention to the fuzzy screen, memories of this experience some seventeen years prior flooded back to her. Tears stung her eyes as she considered the differences. With Otis, she had been alone, Remi too busy to attend. She was grateful to have Jakob next to her, even if they were not a couple, she knew he would be a far greater father than Remi. 

“And there we have it, that’s your baby right there” 

Jakob noted the tears in Jeans eyes, his own slowly filling with the salty liquid. 

“God, I forgot how overwhelming this could be” Jean mumbled. 

She went to wipe her cheeks, but Jakob reached over first, gently swiping the wetness away.

“Is the baby okay doctor?” Jakob asked, turning his gaze away from Jean but leaving his hand close to her shoulder. 

“There is a strong heartbeat, everything looks great so far. I’d say from what you’ve told me and size that you are about ten weeks along, almost through the first trimester” 

“That’s good yes?” Jakob questioned, remembering the risks associated with the first term. 

“Yes, there is always a greater risk during the first trimester, however mothers age does have an impact throughout pregnancy” the doctor explained, trying to be tactful. 

“I’m old so there’s greater risk of complications?” Jean questioned, trying to prevent the annoyance in her tone. 

The doctor smiled softly, placing a reassuring hand on jeans shoulder. 

“Any pregnancy where the mother is above forty, is considered a higher risk, that does not mean to say something will go wrong. Just that we should be a little cautious.”

“Is there anything I can do you prevent risk?” 

“We will schedule a few more scans than usual, and I will leave you some reading that provides a little more information on signs to be aware off, but honestly Jean, you are perfectly healthy, I would not worry” 

Jean sighed and looked to Jakob, smiling slightly at the tears in his eyes as he stared in adoration at the fuzzy blob on the screen. 

“Let me wipe of the gel and you can use the bathroom” 

Jean smiled gratefully, and accepted Jakob’s help in sitting up, before quickly heading to relive herself.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean and Jakob tell there older children they will be having a new baby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have created my vision for Jakobs other daughter, just how I see her.

No word had yet been spoken but the air was consumed with silence. Jean and Jakob sat on one side, while Ola and Otis sat on the other. They were waiting patiently for Jakob’s eldest daughter Elena to arrive having been caught up at work. Jean had yet to actually meet the eldest, since she had been travelling and upon return Jean and Jakob had broken up. To say she was bordering on anxiety nervousness was an understatement. 

“Are you going to tell us what this is about?” Otis asked, expecting his mother to announce she and Jakob were going to try again as a couple. 

Despite early reservations, Otis was happy for his mum to be with Jakob, having chatted after the school play. 

“We will wait for Elena” Jakob responded, smiling softly in attempt to counterbalance his stern tone. 

Otis nodded, having grown used to Jakob’s often abrupt tone .

“Are you guys getting back together?” Ola asked hopefully, ignoring her father. 

Jakob looked over firmly.

“We wait for Elena” 

Ola fought to roll her eyes and glanced towards Otis, both growing more nervous at the unknown. 

A bang at the door, followed by some muttered Swedish that Jean assumed was a curse, and suddenly Elena appeared in the doorway looking somewhat confused and dishevelled. 

“Erm hi, sorry didn’t expect the door to be unlocked” Elena mumbled, dragging her large bag over and pulling a seat at the head of the table. 

Jean admired the beauty of the young women, her features similar to Ola but with blue eyes. She was also taller, but still slim like Ola. 

“Oh hi, I’m Elena” 

Jean smiled and Otis nodded.

“It’s very nice to meet you at last, Elena” Jean replied. “I have heard lots”

“All bad I hope” Elena laughed, as she learnt back in the chair with a cocky grin. 

“Elena” Jakob warned. 

Jean wasn’t sure what to make of Jakob’s eldest daughter. The contrast between Elena and Ola was apparent, from the way Elena sauntered into her house, a house she had never been to before, the confidence she oozed and the grin that screamed trouble, she was the complete opposite to Ola. Jean hated to judge, in fact she was so open to many it was almost a fault, but maybe it was the hormones and the fear, but Jean was not comfortable with Elena. 

“So, are you guys going to tell us what’s going on now?” Otis asked, breaking the silence. 

Jakob nodded and looked to Jean. They had not rehearsed this, had not figured out the best way to drop the news. Jean was hoping to start softly, to work up to the announcement but apparently Jakob had other ideas. 

“Jean and I, your mother Otis... we are having a baby” 

The silence was defeating once more, the only reaction was the jaws that hung open and the eyes that grew wider. 

“Any questions?” Jakob asked awkwardly, earning a firm glare from Jean. 

“Questions?” 

It was Otis who snapped first, his fist clenched tightly, and his bottom lip tugged between his teeth. Eyes flaring between his mother and Jakob. 

“I don’t understand?” Otis asked, his anger rising. 

Jean blinked back the tears of another impending feud between herself and her son before trying to speak. 

“Otis I am pregnant, about ten weeks. It was not planned, but we...we are going to have this baby” Jean offered. 

“You’ve got to be joking, mum tell me you’re not serious?!”

“Otis, darling....”

“No! Mum you... your...”

“Old?” Elena offered coldly. 

“Elena” Jakob snapped. 

“What! Dad how could you do this to us?” Elena asked. 

“A baby is a blessing” 

“What about mum?”

Jakob become ridged, sitting up straighter and inhaling sharply. No matter how he felt towards Jean and the baby, no matter how much he was sure he had moved forward, the mention of his wife still hurt. He missed her, and forever would. He knew deep within his wife would be pleased for him, would be glad he had moved on, but the thought that he had betrayed her still crossed his mind. 

“Your mother is not here; she would wish us to be happy” 

“Well, I’m not” Elena snapped, standing abruptly and rushing out the door. 

The others looked over, each flinching as the door slammed shut. 

“I said you could get back together with Jakob, not have his baby” Otis sighed. 

Jean avoided his eyes and she slouched into herself. 

“We are not together” Jean whispered softly. 

It had been a brief discussion after the scan, but Jakob had remained firm on his choice, not yet prepared to forgive Jean. Unsure if a relationship is best right now. 

We must focus on the baby; we can discuss us at a later date.

His words stung but she had not been surprised. An unplanned pregnancy was not reasoned to reconcile alone. Jean was all too aware of the consequences of forcing a relationship for a child. Although it killed her inside, she knew Jakob would be a wonderful father, a present father to their baby regardless of their status. 

“You’re not together?” 

“We are not” Jakob confirmed, although his tone was impossibly sad. 

“Well, I guess me, and this baby will have one thing in common than” Otis mumbled before excusing himself and heading upstairs. 

Jean bit her lip to fight the threat of tears, twiddling her thumbs under the table nervously. 

“Ola, you have not said anything” Jakob said softly. 

Ola was smiling, her head tilted to the side as she sat forward. 

“Congratulations...I am, pleased for you both” 

Jean relaxed and smiled, pleased that at least one child had a reasonable reaction. 

“I know it’s a shock” Jean whispered. 

“It is...I erm, I’m not really sure how to take it but I am pleased for you both. It could be nice to have a baby around” 

“You can babysit” Jakob grinned, his eyes soft and sparkling. 

“Only if you pay me” Ola laughed. “I have to get to work, we can catch up later” Ola said, and she kissed her father goodbye and left. 

The room fell silent once more, the faint sound of Otis music played in the distance. 

“I guess one out of three isn’t too bad” Jakob joked. 

Jean wanted to be positive, but she couldn’t deal with Jakob’s light-hearted comment. 

“I have only just fixed my relationship with Otis...now he may never forgive me” Jean sighed. 

“He will get over it”

“You don’t know my son Jakob” 

“He is emotional, he reacts before thinking....”

“Jakob, he is seventeen, this baby...” Jean couldn’t finish he sentence, her emotions getting the best of her as she stood and headed to the sink, clinging on for balance. 

Jakob sighed and followed. He wanted to hold Jean in his arms, to reassure her but he was fearful of leading her on. Of giving her false hope. Despite his heart telling him he loved her and wanted to try once more, he needed more time. 

“Jean, we must give them all time. Just...let him deal with this how he needs to. You two always fix things, I am sure this will be no different” 

As much as Jean wanted to believe him, she knew an announcement like this was far bigger than their usual disagreements. 

“I must go deal with my own daughters” 

“I did not wish to meet Elena like this” Jean sighed. 

“She is fiery like her mother...she takes a bit of getting used to. She grows on you; she grew on me” Jakob laughed as he patted Jeans shoulder and left her to her thoughts.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some tough conversations happen and a hit with reality. Otis may be coming around but Jean needs space.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little Eric and Maeve slipped in here.

At five nearly six months, Jean was beginning to feel like a beached whale. Her body felt battered and exhausted, her ankles and feet were swollen, and her anxiety was growing by the day. Her relationship with Otis was not great. His resentment towards her and Jakob was ever present, although he had started to hold a conversation for longer than two minutes. On the whole, he spent most of his time away from home. Out with Eric and Maeve. It hurt but Jean just didn’t have the energy to argue with him. Instead, she clung to hope that he would still come around, that maybe when the baby was born things would be different. 

She hoped also that things with Jakob would improve, not that their relationship was bad, but they were still not together. She had raised it one evening when he cooked her dinner, but he had brushed it off, insisting it was not the right time. In fairness, she later found out it was the anniversary of his wife’s death and he had apologised for his rudeness. Jean had dropped the subject and smiled, offering an apology of her own while her heart crushed inwardly, wondering if she would ever come close to the women before. 

Ola had remained rather positive, often joining Jakob when he brought round food and keeping conversation flowing. Jean guessed her presence was in part in support of her dad, but she did appreciate the way Ola would ask questions about the baby. Elena was another story. Brash and uninterested, she spent little to no time with Jean, hardly acknowledging her on rare occasions that they all found themselves in the same room. Jean had decided it was best to keep a distance, not wishing to bring any more pain upon the young girl. 

It was a cool afternoon; the sun was slowly setting, and Jean was sat out on the balcony when Jakob arrived. He had brought over more soup, along with more paint that he intended to use on the nursery in Jeans house. Despite there being no sign of reconciliation between the two adults, Jakob had been impossibly attentive towards Jean and the baby. Ensuring Jean had all she needed, ate well and accompanied her to all scans and appointments. Jean knew their baby would have an excellent father, but it still hurt to be so close to him, knowing he could not forgive her. Knowing she had caused him pain. 

“Jakob”

“Yes Jean” 

Jean smiled, she loved how he said her name, his voice gravely and rough. 

“Can we talk” 

“Hmmm” 

Jakob eyed Jean from the doorway, hesitant to join her outside, not wishing to engage in more difficult discussions. 

“Is now the best time?” 

“Please” 

Jakob nodded and took a seat, his long legs knocking hers under the table, forcing him to apologise and shuffle over. 

“When I have the baby…who, I mean…” 

Jean sighed heavily, fumbling over the words, the thoughts running through her mind and making her feel sick inside. She hated the difficult conversations that they were forced to share, wished every day that things could be easier, wandered what might have been had she not kissed Remi, but for now she had to remain strong, if not for herself then the baby.

“You can talk to me Jean” Jakob whispered, encouraging his unspoken ultimatum. 

He leant in closer, inhaling her scent as he memorised her face. He may not know how to discuss their relationship, but he did still care, and he did not want her to feel uncomfortable talking to him. 

“I erm, I just…I have been thinking, and I just thought…god…when the baby is born, which one of us will bring he or she home with them. Who gets custody first? How do we arrange custody?” Jean asked nervously, her mouth drying as she choked out the questions. 

Jakob frowned, his heart clenching at the pain in Jeans eyes. 

“We will bring our baby here…I will stay, on the couch or the nursery floor until the baby is settled more. It will be best to avoid moving the baby back and forth to often, I will move between my place and here. I can stay and help with night feeds and diapers, and in the day, I can give you some space or give you a break. We will discuss when we need to more” 

The confidence in which Jakob spoke surprised Jean. She had not expected the answer he gave, and she was unsure how to respond. 

“I erm…”

“I must go now Jean; my girls will be hungry. I will be back in the morning to finish the nursery, you should rest early, you look exhausted” 

Jean’s eyes followed as Jakob left her house, the faint sound of muttered hellos followed by grunting goodbyes and Otis arrived home. 

“Otis, darling?” Jean called, praying her son would come and join her. 

“Yes?” Otis replied, hovering in the doorway much like Jakob had. 

“Would you like to sit down with me, maybe we could talk?” 

Otis frowned, his mind spinning for an excuse. 

“About what mum?” 

“School…your friends, I have not seen Eric in a while. Your always out Otis, I’d like to spend some time with you” 

“I have homework” 

Jean sighed in defeat as tears stung her eyes. She felt like a terrible mother, to both Otis and her unborn child. Her chest tightened painfully as she tried to control her breathing before retreating to her bedroom, alone and emotional. 

Eric and Maeve eyed Otis questionably as the three hid in the rotting bathrooms. It was almost the end of lunch, but none of them planned on attending their final lessons. 

“So, you’re saying you still haven’t spoken to your mum since she announced her pregnancy?” Eric asked dramatically, clasping his hands together. 

“We’ve spoken in passing” Otis mumbled. 

“In passing, what like on the stairs?” Maeve bit as she took another drag of her cigarette. 

Otis rolled his eyes but muttered in response. 

“Something like that”

“Jean deserves better” Eric cried, snapping his fingers. 

“I agree, you’re a horrible son” Maeve added, although her comment was delivered with a lightness to her voice. 

“I just…I don’t know how to talk to her” 

“Otis, your mum literally talks to anyone about everything and I mean everything…she’s the easiest person to talk to!” 

“Eric its different for me…plus I am still not okay with this whole…baby” 

“Why not?” Maeve asked.

“Because…uhhh” Otis sighed, pacing the murky floors. 

“Otis, your mums having a baby…she’s not committed murder” 

“That’s a terrible comparison” Otis mumbled. 

“Look…I get it, I was not interested when Erin turned up in my life and shoved a younger sibling in my face, but at least your mums told you before the baby’s two. Plus, your mum hasn’t abandoned you…and she’s not a drug addict” 

Otis stopped in his tracks and folded his arms like a child, huffing for added affect. He knew Maeve was right, his situation was nothing compared to what she had dealt with, but as an only child for seventeen years of his life, he was not prepared to share his mum. 

“She has abandoned me though, or it feels that way” 

“Okay, how…explain, use your words” Eric added, pouting as he leant on his knees. 

Otis kicked at his shoes before unfolding his arms, his eyes engaging with his two friends. 

“It’s always been just me and my mum, and the occasional appearance of my dad but basically it’s been me and mum. All my life practically. My mum has been there for everything and now…now I am going to be pushed aside while a new shiny version of me comes into her life and before you know it, she will be so consumed with the new baby that she will forget I ever existed” 

Eric and Maeve looked to one another, their expressions a mixture of sympathy, understanding and sheer disbelief that Otis had worked this scenario up in his head. 

“You understand that your mum is not just going to forgot you exist…like she gave birthhhhh to you, and you wanked in her car and she saw…trust me she aint ever forgetting you Otis” Eric laughed. 

Otis kicked at the floor, slamming his hand against his temple, wishing he had never told Eric that story. 

“Look, Otis…your mums focus will be on the baby…” Maeve began. 

“You’re not helping” 

“But you are seventeen Otis. You have your own life; you do your own thing…enjoy your freedom. You’ve had seventeen years of your mum’s attention, it’s time you spread your wings, and let your new brother or sister enjoy your mums love. You will still be your mum’s child” 

“Maeve’s right Otis plus just think what this baby has got to go through with the inappropriate sex talks and weird penis and vaginas that decorate your house. You can be the cool brother that guides this baby through the dark times” Eric chuckled. 

“Hmmm…your right…god, I have been such a jerk” 

“No, you’ve just…” 

“Yeah, you have but you know what… Jean always forgives” 

“You need to talk to your mum Otis” 

“It’s been so long since we really spoke, what if she doesn’t want to talk” 

“You need to try, don’t throw away a decent family…some people dream of the life you have” 

When Otis returned home that night, he did not expect to come home to an empty house having spent the bike ride here going over in his head the speech he would give his mum in way of apology. He wandered if Jakob had taken his mum out, but she always text if they had appointments to attend. He then worried that something had happened, but then he noticed a note on the table alongside two white envelopes. 

Otis,

I needed some space and I thought you may need some too. I am staying with Maureen for a night or two, there is food in the fridge. Please open your letter, I hope it can explain a little of what I wish I had said before, also if you could pass on Jakob’s. 

I will be home in a few days.

Love 

Mum x

Otis froze to the spot, his hand shaking as he held the scrap of paper. Guilt racked his body as he picked up the envelope addressed to him. Slowly he opened it, his stomach churning with nerves as he began to read.


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The letters are read and emotions run high.

To Otis,

Things lately have been very difficult and shocking. I know my pregnancy has not been easy on you and for that I am sorry. If someone had told me years ago that I would be having another child at my age id have laughed in their face. 

As you know I did not plan to get pregnant, and in turn I did not plan to disrupt your life. It has taken me a long while to come to terms with the idea of becoming a mother once more, but it is journey I want. 

When you were born, I was alone. Your father, as you know, was not the most present. It was difficult for me to attended scans and classes alone. But the moment I held you in my arms, the aloneness I felt disappeared. 

We have not always gotten along, and I know I can be difficult and intrusive, but we have always had each other. These past few months have been some of the worst for me. The distance that has grown between us breaks my heart. 

I need you to know that even when this baby is born, that you will not mean any less to me. You are my first-born child, my baby always. You saved me when I needed you most.

I do not expect you to be on board with this pregnancy, and I know the baby will change the dynamics, but I need you to know that my love for you Otis, will never ever change. It only ever grows. 

I promise to be home soon.

Love always, 

Mum x

Otis fumbled for his phone, coughing to the unexpected emotion that threatened to take over his body. He quickly dialled the number, his leg shaking impatiently with each ring. 

“Hello?” 

“Jakob, it’s Otis” 

“I know”

“I need you to come over” 

“Is it your mum, the baby?” 

“No, yes, no, sort of…please can you just get over here” 

“I am on my way” 

Otis knew Jakob did not live far, but from the minute he hung up the phone he was growing impatient, standing to pace the kitchen, his letter clutched firmly in his hand as he peered out the window into the night. 

It was less than fifteen minutes before Jakob arrives, a new record even by his standards. The door was sill unlocked and within seconds Jakob was barrelling through it. 

“What’s wrong, where is your mother?” Jakob asked worriedly. 

“Maureen’s” 

“What?” 

“She’s gone” 

“Gone, gone to her friends?” 

“I don’t know Jakob…she left a note it feels like she’s gone gone” 

Otis nodded towards the paper, letting Jakob read for himself. 

“Did you say something to her?” Jakob asked accusingly. 

“What, no! I…I came home to apologise and…”

“I’m sorry, that was unfair” 

“She left us a letter each” Otis added. 

Jakob lifted his letter, glancing over to see that Otis had opened his already. His curiosity wanted to ask about the contents, but he knew it was personal. 

“Mum has never just left before…I don’t know why she would do this, not after dad just left” 

“She has not left Otis; she has left a note. She is with a friend.”

“But…”

“She just needs some space.” 

“Why not wait and tell me to my face?” 

“Because she was likely upset” 

“I didn’t mean to make her feel so bad she would leave” 

“She has only gone for a few days”

Otis wanted to ask why Jakob was suddenly so calm, but he could find the words.

“Have you eaten?” 

“What?” 

“Dinner?” 

“No…”

“I will cook” 

“What?”

“Dinner, I will cook for you. I will call you when it is ready” 

Otis was confused and overwhelmed, unable to fully understand his mother’s choices, and Jakob’s reaction. Rather than argue, Otis nodded and headed upstairs to his room. 

Jakob spent time preparing dinner with food he had left in Jean’s fridge. His letter sat untouched on the counter, his steely blue eyes glancing over at it every few seconds. When food was ready, he called Otis and the two sat in semi awkward silence until their plates were cleaned. 

“You’ve not opened your letter” Otis mumbled as Jakob washed up. 

Jakob sighed and dried his hands, re-joining Otis at the table. 

“I am not ready” 

Silence settled over the two once more for a few moments. 

“Why did you and mum break up?” 

The question, though perfectly innocent on Otis behalf, was filled with pain and confusion for Jakob. 

“Your mother has not told you?” 

“No”

Jakob sighed and ran his calloused hands down his stubbled face. 

“I do not know if it is my place to say” 

“You’re my half siblings dad…I think I deserve to know why you and my mum are not together. You’re having a baby together and you spend time here cooking and cleaning for mum and going to appointments or whatever…I just don’t get it, why do all that if you’re not a couple?” 

“Because I care about your mother” 

“Who broke it off?” 

“I did” 

“With reason?” 

“Yes” 

“Jakob, please” 

“Otis…I do not want to affect how you see your mother” 

“What is that supposed to mean?” Otis asked, growing annoyed before realization fell over him. 

“Otis…”

“What did mum do?” 

Jakob took a sharp breath to control his voice. 

“She kissed your father” 

Otis sat stunned in silence. His heart softening towards Jakob while his emotions towards his mum only grew more complicated. 

“But…why would…I don’t understand” 

“Your dad showed up here, unexpectedly. I left to give them the chance to talk and spend time with you. I believe they both had a few drinks.” 

“That’s not an excuse” 

“No, it is not”

“And she admitted it?” 

“Yes…when she was angry at me for fixing her pan shelfs” 

“Wait what?” 

Jakob sighed and smiled, remembering the way Jeans face recoiled in frustration at him.

“I was getting under your mother’s feet, in her space to much. She was annoyed with me and she told me what happened. I finished and left; she is not ready for the sort of relationship I am looking for. That is why I left, not so much because of the kiss” 

Otis nodded, trying to understand his mother’s actions. 

“You’re the first person my mum has been happy with since my dad. She’s different around you” 

“She does not know how to be in a relationship” 

“Aren’t all relationships different though…she was with my dad for a long time”

“Yes…but the relationships that work are based on good communication, something your mother lacks” 

“But she therapizes people for a living, she knows how to communicate to people” 

“Yes, when she is discussing other people’s relationships…she does not communicate herself. We cannot be together until she realises that, and she needs to realise it for herself” 

“She communicated through our letters” Otis pointed out hopefully. 

Jakob nodded and fingered the paper. 

“I know” Jakob sighed, knowing the words within the paper would potentially reveal more about Jean and her feelings than he had ever seen, but knowing he needed her to be open to his face.

“Do you love me mum?” 

“I do, very much, and I would like a relationship with her. She is the only women I have been in love with since my wife died. I have never come close to loving someone else except your mum. She hurt me Otis, but I can forgive the mistake. But I need her to open up and to let me in.” 

“Please give her a chance” 

Jakob grinned and tapped his letter on the table in acknowledgement. 

“Will you be okay here, on your own?” 

“Yes, I will be fine” 

“Lock the doors when I leave” 

“I will” 

“Your mum needs space and her friend tonight, I will bring her home tomorrow” 

Otis nodded and relaxed, glad in the knowledge his mum was okay. 

“Good night Otis” 

Jakob waited until both Ola and Elena were asleep before reading his letter. He retreated to the privacy of his bedroom, ensuring the door was firmly shut before leaving the room dimly lit by the side lamp. He opened the letter carefully, swearing that he could smell Jeans perfume on the paper. His hands shook slightly as he inhaled before reading. 

Jakob, 

I do not know where to begin and I know a letter is not good enough. I know you deserve for me to say this to your face, but I do not have the courage to do so. Opening up to you is hard for me. Partly because I have grown accustomed to burying my emotions and partly because I love you so much it scares me. I am however working on changing, and I hope that putting into words, albeit in a letter how I feel, can prove that. 

My relationship with Remi hurt me and I feared letting anyone know that because I was embarrassed at how he had treated me, and that I had allowed it to continue. I wish I had had the courage to walk away from him, to have maybe save myself from the pain he caused me. My past with Remi is no excuse for how I treated you, but I must recognise that it did affect me. Of all the bad I experience with him; I also gained the greatest gift I could have wished for. 

Otis has been the only constant in my life for seventeen years, the only love I have allowed. When I met you, I did not know how to let you into my life. I did not know how to love you, how to share you, and I did not know if I could ever be what you needed me to be. 

When you told me about your wife, I feared I could never compare, that I would never be good enough. I never wanted to replace her, but it scared me the thought that I could possibly mean close to what she meant to you. 

When I came to you to ask for forgiveness, I felt impossibly vulnerable and exposed. I know I was wrong to kiss Remi, and I regret that action so very much. It broke my heart when you ended things, a pain I have never felt before. I know it was my actions that led to our breakup and I will forever regret my decision that night, and the pain I caused you. It killed me to know I am the reason our baby will grow up having two go between houses, that our baby will suffer due to my stupid decision. I do not deserve your forgiveness, nor do I deserve a second chance, but I don’t know how to be without you, and I hate that it took hurting you and loosing you to realise that. 

I love you so much and I would do anything to be given a second chance. I will however respect your decision to deny me that. I just plead, that for the sake of our baby, we can maintain a relationship that provides our child with the best possible life with two present parents.

I know that our current position is not where either one of us expected to be, but I am forever grateful I am in it with you. 

I love you forever more,

All my love

Jean x


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean and Jakob sit down to talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be working on more chapters shortly. 
> 
> To come-   
> \- Otis and Jean talk  
> \- Jean and Elena try to work things out.

Jakob stared at the words on the paper, his heart beating a thousand miles a minute, his breath caught in the back of his throat, almost preventing him from exhaling. He trembled in his skin, emotions filtering through his pores that he had not felt for a very long time. Moisture pooled in his eyes as he snapped his head up to blink them away. He was an emotional man, a man who wore his heart on his sleeve, unafraid to admit that, but he was not prepared to break down and cry just yet. He needed to see her, to touch her and hold her close. To speak to her, and say all that he had held in. Then, when all barriers were broken, he would cry. 

The morning sun broke through the blinds, waking him from his fitful sleep. She had filled his mind all night, his body unable to relax into the soft expanse of his bed. 

“Dad! Are you coming down?” Ola yelled. 

Jakob grinned and rolled his eyes. Elena had always been the fiery of the two, but as Ola grew, he was beginning to see that inner burn flame from within her to. 

“They get it from there mother” He grumbled to himself, unaware his late wife had often muttered similarities of himself.

“Dad!” 

“I am coming!” 

Breakfast was laid out on the table when he approached the kitchen. Cereals, fresh bread, cheeses and fruits adorned the wooden table. 

“What is this?”

“Breakfast” Ola grinned; her flare simmered for now. 

“Yes, but why, you girls do not do this?” Jakob asked, not meaning to sound ungrateful. 

“Well…we thought you seemed a little tense and I just thought we could all sit down and have breakfast together. It’s Saturday so we have no place to be…”

“Actually, I’m heading out soon so…”

Ola glared at her grumpy sister and gave her a swift kick under the table. 

“Ouch!” 

“Elena is in no rush” Ola bit.

“It’s very nice…but I am not tense” 

Even Elena glanced up from her food long enough to offer a sarcastic really dad?

“We know you are dealing with a lot right now; we just want you to be happy and we want to make things easier for you” Ola explained. 

“And how are you going to do that exactly?” 

Ola looked to her sister with pleading eyes, begging for some kind of support before she spoke. 

“Well, I thought since we don’t have a four-bedroom house, that we can share a room and the baby can have mine” Ola explained softly. 

“No way, we are not sharing!” Elena exclaimed. 

“We discussed this El”

“No, you forced a list of crap we should do for the sake of a baby that isn’t even mums!” Elena snapped.

“Hey, hey! Stop arguing” Jakob cried. 

The girls fell into silence with only the exchange of eyes as they waited for their father to speak. 

“It is very sweet of you Ola, but no one needs to share a room. They baby will not live here” 

“Wait what?” 

“Great, that I can get on board with” 

“Are you not going to be involved with the baby dad?” Ola asked sadly. 

Since finding out she would be a big sister, Ola had grown fonder of the idea by the day. She was becoming settled in her new role and they shift in dynamics. 

“I will be very involved…but I do not wish for my baby to have to go back and forth. I will support Jean, and when they baby is first born, I will probably sleep on her couch to help in the night but otherwise, I will go back and forth” 

“Oh…so, Is jean okay with that?” 

“We need to discuss some more” 

“But what if you miss out on stuff, if you are not always there” 

“If we shared the baby between houses, I could miss out on stuff…I hope that will not be the case though.” Jakob smiled, knowing he would be seeing Jean today. 

“Are you going to get back together with her?” Elena asked. 

Jakob looked to his eldest daughter, her eyes so much like his own but her smile all her mothers. She was a difficult girl, fiercely independent, determined and opinionated, but she was also loyal…to a fault sometimes. Jakob understood Elena’s reaction. She had always been incredibly close to her mother. Not that Ola hadn’t, but Elena was girly, she enjoyed shopping and spa days and all those things she did with her mum. 

“Jean will never replace your mother, Elena” 

“She already has” Elena sobbed, before leaving the house with tears in her eyes. 

Jakob arrived at Maureen’s at twelve o clock, knowing on the front door twice before standing back nervously to wait. He was nervous as hell but having opened up a little to Ola after breakfast, he had regained some control. 

“Jakob, hello” Maureen smiled as she stepped aside to let him through. 

“Does she know I am here?” 

“No, I thought best not to say too much.”

“Is she okay?” 

“Not really, but I think you are the only person who can change that. She is in the front room, I’ll be upstairs” 

Jakob smiled and thanked her, before making his way to Jean. He did not want to have their whole conversation in someone else house but thought best to way up Jeans emotional state before asking her to leave with him. 

“Jean” 

Blue eyes spun to look over, crystal tears brimmed at the surface, her eyes red from crying and slightly puffy underneath. Her lip quivered and she bit it hard to stop from breaking down. 

“J…Jakob” She managed, although how she did not know. 

“Can I sit?” 

Jean shuffled over, pulling a cushion to her lap, giving herself something to hold. 

“Have you spoken to Otis?” Jean asked, guilt having wracked her heart since she left her house. 

“I have, he is okay” 

“I asked Maureen to text you, did you tell Otis I was here?” 

“I did, I made him dinner and we talked. I called him this morning…he is with Eric, he’s okay” 

Jean exhaled and nodded in understanding. 

“Jean, can you come home with me now please, we must talk.” 

Jakob’s words were soft and comforting, his left hand slowly creeping out towards her, itching to touch her. 

“Whose home?” Jean asked sadly. 

“Whichever you feel more comfortable” 

Jean nodded and mumbled a teary “mine”.

They had been home only half an hour, both sat on either end of the sofa. Jean still hugging a pillow, her right leg pulled under her. The car ride over had been silent, not awkward or uncomfortable, just silent. Jakob had heated some soup, making her eat before they spoke. When they finished, he sat the bowl aside and scooted closer. 

“I forgave you for the kiss a long time ago” Jakob whispered, his head leaning against the back of the sofa as he took Jean in. 

“What?” 

Jean spoke cautiously, not having expected Jakob’s admission. 

“Although it hurt me, I knew it was a mistake” 

“But you said…you couldn’t forgive me” 

Jakob smiled, his fingers tracing small circles on the exposed skin of Jeans ankle. 

“No, I said you were not ready for the kind of intimacy I was looking for” 

Jean swallowed thickly, replaying the scene in her head. She had been so nervous and emotional in that moment, so out of her depth and wracked with guilt that she had not actually considered his words. 

“You forgave me?” Jean asked softly. 

“I did” 

“But I…oh god, I…” Jean choked, hiding her face in her hands. 

Jakob moved closer, his legs touching hers as he pulled her hands from her tear-stained face, softy squeezing reassuringly. He wasn’t to lean further, to capture her lips and tell her to forget it all and move on, but he knew he couldn’t. He had to let her figure out what he needed for herself. 

“Jean, you need to use your words” 

Jean often described a lightbulb moment to her clients when explaining a realisation, or a shift in dynamics between two people or of actions, and yet she herself had never felt the light switch on until now. She had used her words on paper, penned her letter to him in desperation, knew that it was not enough but never truly understood it until now, in a moment where she could have him forever or lose him forever. 

“Coming to you that day…I felt…I felt so small, so alone and scared. I didn’t know how to tell you how much I loved you. How much I missed you. I didn’t know how to tell you that I wanted you in my life forever, how scared I was to commit…how afraid I was that you would…that if I did have you, how bloody scared I was that you might walk away and leave me like Remi did. I am so used to building a wall around myself, to not letting anyone get close to me for fear of being hurt that I couldn’t see that you would never ever do that to me. I couldn’t let myself trust you and it pushed you away” 

Sobs escaped Jeans lips and her tears rolled down her flushed cheeks. Her shoulders shaking and her hands trembling, encased in Jakob’s larger ones. 

“Jean, I have needed you to be open with me, to be honest with me since the beginning. Your letter, it broke my heart, but I have needed you to say it to me. I don’t want to lose you Jean; I don’t want to be just a co-parent. I want the romance, and the company and the hard times, but it will only work if we communicate, if we are honest with each other, always.” 

Tears pooled in Jakob’s own eyes and Jean thought his eyes couldn’t get any bluer. She hiccupped, trying to control her breathing between sobs as she fell into Jakob’s strong embrace, his arms holding her to his chest as best he could with her growing bump. She clung tightly to his shirt, as he caressed her sides. Whispering sweet nothings in her ear to calm her. 

“I told you before, I cannot go through the pain of losing someone I love, and I love you. I don’t want to lose you Jean, but you need to let me in, let me through these walls you hide behind.” Jakob mumbled sweetly into her hair. 

“You’re asking me to let you through walls I have spent years building, Jakob I can’t change overnight, but I want to try” 

“That’s all I need Jean” 

Jakob smiled down at Jean, her eyes so full of fear, hurt and vulnerability. He wiped gently at her tears, his nose leaning in to brush softly against her own, taking a moment to inhale her scent, to feel her, before dipping lower and kissing her. 

It was soft and sweet, without tongue, but long enough to leave flutters in their bellies. It was intimate, but not like Jean was used to. It was a kiss that spoke silent words, that bonded the two together. 

“I love you Jakob, more than I have ever loved someone before. I know that is not the same for you, and you don’t have to say it back, but I want you to know that is how I feel, and it does scare me” 

“Oh, my Jean, I love you, I love you so much. I love you like I have loved before, and that for me is scary. We just have to keep loving each other and we will be okay”


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean and Otis sit down to talk things through, hoping to find a way of understanding each others side of the story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are my own - apologise.

Jean pottered around the house, silently moving the odd books and paraphernalia she owned, solely to occupy her hands. Jakob had insisted he go to give her space to be with Otis, and despite Jean’s reluctance to let him go, she knew he was right. 

The relationship Jean shared with Otis was unique and often unusual to others. The topics of conversation were invasive and personal, often inappropriate but dressed in heartfelt care. 

So, distracted by her own mind and her pointless rearranging of objects, Jean failed to hear the front door open, taken by surprise at Otis presence. 

“Mum” 

“Oh Otis” Jean cried, holding a hand to her chest in shock. “You took me by surprise” 

Otis smiled softly, a lopsided smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes but enough to convey warmth and relief at his mother’s return. 

“I erm…” Otis stuttered. 

He didn’t know what to say or how to begin so instead he rushed towards Jean, enveloping her into a loose, semi unsure but full of love hug. 

“Is Jakob here, did you guys talk?” Otis asked hurriedly, scanning the room for any signs of him. 

“No darling, he has gone home now.” 

“But you spoke?” 

“Yes, we did…and so must we” 

Otis shuffled on his feet, avoiding his mother’s gaze. 

“Do you want tea?” Otis asked, his gaze following Jean as she took a seat on the sofa. 

“No, thank you…come sit with me please” 

Despite the bubbling nerves, Otis wanted to fix things with his mum and also ask a million questions. He nodded and followed, sitting down next to her, both facing out towards the TV. 

“So…I want to start by apologising”

“Mum…”

“Please Otis, let me finish” 

Otis nodded, turning his head slightly to catch his mum’s eye. 

“I should not have left as I did, that was not fair on you. Like I said, I needed some space and a friend, but I am sorry for how I chose to handle that. The…challenges we have faced recently just became too much for me, but I want to fix that. I should have spoken to you in the first place Otis” 

Otis listened carefully, taking in his mum’s words, remaining silent knowing his mum’s therapist techniques of taking it in turns to speak. 

“Otis, would you like to say anything?” Jean asked softly. 

“I was mad that you left leaving only a note. I panicked and it…it made me think of dad leaving.” 

Jean swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat, trying to accept Otis’s feelings. 

“However, I release that I have caused you a lot of pain recently, and I have made things really hard for you, so I do understand that you needed space. I just…I was actually coming to apologise to you that day” Otis admitted, almost in a whisper. 

Jean burrowed her brow and leaned her head back against the sofa.

“I erm…I talked to Eric and Maeve. They made me, well they made me realise how I was behaving. I just, I didn’t expect this, and I wasn’t ready for the changes that will come because of…the baby” 

Otis sighed as he finished speaking, turning into his mum signalling her response. 

“Sweetheart, I never meant to cause you such…pain and confusion.”

“I know that mum” 

“This baby…I promise will never change our relationship. I will never love you any less.” 

“Okay”

“Can we try and make this work, our relationship and this baby?” 

Otis smiled, his blue eyes glistening in the light. 

“Yes, sure…but I am still not…I am not quite ready…it’s just a lot of change, but I will try my best to be better” 

“I don’t expect you to be totally fine with all that’s going on, I just need you to try” 

“I can do that”

“You know I love you Otis” 

“I do…I love you to mum” 

Jean tilted her head further, resting slightly against Otis, inhaling sharply and exhaling slowly. Her hands twisting in her lap, knowing she had more that needed to be discussed.

“Otis, darling…I know that Jakob told you why we…what I…that I kissed your father”

Recalling her actions and replaying her admission to Jakob made her shiver in embarrassment, but she knew she had to talk about it. 

“I just, if you want to say anything about it…you can” Jean mumbled. 

Otis shifted his position a little, stretching out his long limbs that were slowly growing tense. 

“You shouldn’t have done it, mum. It was wrong, and Jakob didn’t deserve that. You should have had more control, especially given that dad cheated on you.” 

Otis finished his mini speech with a firm nod of his head, embodying the parental role as he chastised his mother’s actions. 

“You sound so much like me” Jean smirked but she knew Otis was right. “You are right Otis, and I am ashamed of my actions. I cannot excuse them” 

“Jakob said he had forgiven you” 

“Yes…I probably don’t deserve that but yes, he has” 

“Did you guys discuss…you know your relationship?” Otis asked softly, hoping that Jakob’s forgiveness of the kiss was a good sign. 

“We did, we had a very open and honest conversation” 

“So, you guys are okay?” 

“We are” 

“Are you guys…like together again?” 

Jean smiled a little brighter, leaning in to place a reassuring hand over Otis’s. 

“Jakob is giving me another chance, yes. But I promise you, we will still be family, you and I and Jakob is not moving in here, we are going to take things slow and still focus on the baby but yes, we…I guess are boyfriend and girlfriend again” 

Otis smiled fondly, pleased to hear his mum had another chance at happiness. 

“I am glad…Jakob is a good man”


	8. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean and Elena finally sit down to talk, woman to woman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy! Thankyou for the positivity with this story! It is much appreciated. I always welcome prompts.   
> Apologise my chapters are not longer, I will do my best to make them longer.

Jean hovered nervously in Jakob’s kitchen, cradling the hot cup of tea he had just made her, while watching him clear up their lunch plates. It had been two weeks since they reconciled, and they were at a really great place. Still taking it slow in some areas but cementing their bond in others. It made life far easier, Jean felt in herself how much more relaxed she had become, her mind filled with less worry. The biggest issue she currently faced was Elena. Tension was still rife, and the girl was hardly speaking to either her father or Jean. Jean had not once stayed over at Jakob’s, he always came to her, and she had only been round to his house twice, the second time being their current moment. 

“You look worried?” Jakob asked softly. 

In her lost gaze, Jean had barely registered Jakob moving towards her, his hands gently caressing her side while his lips hovered at her brow. 

“Hmmm, a little” 

“Let’s sit”

Jean gratefully accepted Jakob’s guiding hand as he pulled her down to the sofa, wrapping a firm arm around her shoulders. Jean still held the mug close, not wanting to leave her hands free and cherishing the warmth. 

“I need to find a way of building a relationship with Elena” 

“Ahh…my stubborn unhappy eldest” Jakob sighed. 

The tension between himself at Elena was currently more than he had experienced before. It had been difficult after his wife’s death, and there was moment as they girls grew older that he fumbled over. His girls had practically carried him through his pain, taking on roles far beyond their years. 

“I would like to try talking to her, but I don’t know how to get her to agree to it” Jean whispered worriedly. 

“We can try together” 

“No, Jakob I really think I should try talking to her on my own…it worked for you and Otis” 

Jakob grinned and thought fondly of the young man. They had certainly started to form an amicable bond, something akin to a friendship of sorts. 

“Okay, she will be home soon, I can take Ola with me, we will do that job I need to finish, give you guys space.” 

Jean smiled gratefully and nodded; her hot mug was now lukewarm in her hands. She had very little plan on what to say but she knew if the tension continued much longer, she may lose all hope of forming some kind of relationship. 

The hour dragged before the girls arrived home, and the look of disgust at Jean’s presence that Elena shot her way, hit her right in the gut. 

“Ola, you come with me…we have a job to go to” 

Ola wanted to argue, wished to stay and chill in her own space, maybe call Lilly, but the look her father gave her told her now was not the time. 

“I’ll drop you at Lilly’s after if you like” Jakob mumbled, in an attempt at consolidation. 

“Cool” 

Jakob gently pushed Ola back out the door, before stopping at Elena. He placed a sweet kiss to her hair and whispered firmly. 

“Please give Jean a chance…she just wants to talk” 

Jean shuffled on her feet as she watched the door slam shut. She wandered if Jakob would ever learn to close doors quietly or if it was integrated within him. 

“So, did you want to say something?” Elena bit with all the anger of your typical teenager.

“Can we sit and talk?” Jean asked, gesturing to the sofa. 

“The table” El muttered

Jean smiled and accepted Elena’s choice, guessing she felt to close if they sat on the sofa. She had to be grateful that Elena hadn’t turned around and walked out the door. 

“I erm…I thought we could maybe talk and resolve some of the tension that is clearly between us” Jean began, her voice pitching higher than she’s have liked but with all the grace of a therapist. 

“Dad said you’re a therapist” 

Jean frowned but nodded. 

“So, what, is this like a therapy session, you going to tell me what’s going on in my head, what I am feeling and thinking.?”

Elena lent back in her chair; arms crossed defiantly across her chest as she stared at Jean. 

Jean wanted to be angry, wanted to give Elena some who truths on her behaviour, but from the watery gaze that in Elena’s bluish grey eyes, she knew deep down that there was a reason to the anger. 

“I just want us to talk…I am not here to therapize”

“Surely you can’t stop yourself, if you know how to get into someone’s head”

“Okay, your right…I have an idea of why you are reacting as you are towards me, and yes, it is difficult for me not to look at conversations as a therapy session, but your dad…he has taught me a lot about communication and listening and dealing with stuff as me and not me as a therapist. So, I can sit here and tell you what I think the issue is, or you can tell me yourself and maybe we can fix it or make it a little easier because either way, I am have your half brother or sister and we will be a part of each other’s life forever” 

A huge sigh left Jean’s body as she settled back into her seat, unaware of the nervous tension and frustrating she had been holding within. She hadn’t intended to be harsh or outspoken, but Elena was tough, maybe not underneath but she was still tough and sometimes going in hard is the right way. 

Elene looked to her folded arms, huffing slightly before relenting. Laying her hands on the table, tapping absentmindedly as she fought to find words. 

“Dad wasn’t supposed to meet anyone else…mum and dad were meant to be forever” 

The words stung as they left her lips, her eyes growing wetter, teetering on the edge of falling but she held on. 

“I’m not trying to replace your mum, Elena” Jean sighed softly. 

“It just…it feels that way, especially that you’re having a baby with dad. It’s like he’s going to have a whole new family and the family we had with mum is just gone” 

Elena bit her lip nervously, wandering if Jean would say anything but she didn’t. She just stared sympathetically, taking it all in. 

“When I went travelling, I felt free. It was the first time away from home since mum died, and I needed it. It had been so difficult and dad…me and Ola had to do so much. I escaped the pain and found comfort. When I heard about you, I was angry that dad had moved on, angry that he could move on from mum even if it was three years later and then the pain came back to me. I wanted to believe that dad could be happy again, and deep down that was all I wanted…but then you guys split up and dad was sad again and I don’t know what happened but something…something made dad sad and I was mad at you.”

“Say it” Jean whispered. 

“What?” 

“Say it was me that hurt your dad” 

“I…”

“Say it” 

Elena scrunched her eyes, trying to prevent the tears that were starting to fall. 

“You, you made my dad sad, you hurt him somehow and…I feared that pain would be back again. I can’t go back there; I can’t see my dad hurt.”

Jean nodded in understanding. 

“Feel any better?” Jean asked. 

A hint of a smile tugged at Elena’s lips. 

“A little” 

“Your right, I did hurt your dad and I am sorry that it in turn hurt you. I did something stupid, and I should have just opened up and spoken to your dad.”

“Thank you” 

Jean smiled and reached out her hands, chancing the opportunity to take Elena’s in her own. 

“I will never ever replace your mum, nor will I ever try to be your mum, but I do love your dad very much and I love our baby. I promise you; your family is going nowhere, and neither is your mother’s memory, were just blending…adding a few more to the mix.” 

“I don’t want to forget her”

“That won’t happen, your dad would never let that happen…I won’t let that happen” 

“I’m sorry I have been such a bitch to you” 

“Sweetheart, trust me…I was worse at your age” 

Elena laughed heartily, wiping the tears that had fallen, a sense of relief washing over her. 

“Can you promise me something?” Jean asked softly, standing to embrace Elena. 

“I guess” 

“You’ll come and talk to me if I upset you?” 

“Yeah, I can do that” 

“I’m glad we had this talk” 

“Were back, are you still fighting?” Jakob called loudly. 

Jean and Elena looked to each other and smirked.

“No, we are all okay, no fighting” Jean replied. 

“Hmmm” 

Jakob eyed his girls, leaning in to kiss Jeans cheek sweetly, pulling her tight to his side as he caressed her very full bump. 

“Ola is at Lilly’s…you are going out or staying in?” Jakob asked Elena. 

Elena rolled her eyes and cringed, thoughts of hearing her dad and Jean kissing was bad enough, let alone the sight or sound of anything more. 

“I’m going to go out, leave you too to it” 

Jakob grinned broadly and winked at Jean, hoping for at least a steaming make out on the sofa while the house was free.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jakob and Jean attempt to get intimate after so long, complicated by Jeans growing bump. Otis realises that Jakob is the role model he always needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistake are mine- sorry  
> Light descriptions of sex, nothing to detailed...yet.   
> I appreciate the reviews and encouragement.   
> Enjoy

“Uuhh Jakob…Jakob, that won’t work” Jean sighed annoyance and frustration lacing her voice. 

“What if I do this” 

“No, no that’s…ohhh just stop!” Jean cried, rolling to her sighed frustratedly. 

Jakob sighed, and moved away from Jean, pulling the sheets up enough to cover their lower halves. It was a rare afternoon, the house silent since Otis was out with friends, and both Jakob and Jean had no work. Since getting back together they had chosen to take things slower, in part to build their relationship but also because Jean felt so big, she didn’t feel sexy enough for more than kissing and some touches. Jakob, being so in tune with her body, new she wanted and needed more. 

He had run her a hot bubble bath, sitting by her side and running his fingers through her hair, massaging her exposed skin until she was in a state of bliss. Then he led her to her room, laid her down and caressed every inch of her. Taking in the intoxicating smell of her, kissing every area exposed to him. She was oversensitive but he was careful with every touch, whispering lovingly in her ear, telling her how beautiful she was. 

It was loving and romantic and both needed the release the other could offer but finding a position that worked was harder than they thought. Jakob on top just didn’t work with the rather large bump, and Jean on top, although better, just made her self conscious. 

“Jakob I’m sorry” 

“Hey, hey” Jakob soothed, his fingers running through her locks from behind her. “Do not apologise Jean, it is okay” 

“It’s not though. It’s not fair, you have needs…and damn it so do I. I don’t want to be this big anymore, I’m not sexy, I feel like a whale” Jean sobbed. 

Jean groaned in frustration at both lack of sex, and the continuous tears that fell whenever she was even remotely emotional. Her hormones had been all over the place, taking over her usual cool calm demeanour. 

“Jean, you are growing our baby in you...you are beautiful and sexy, and I love you. We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to”

Jakob curled his body around Jean, holding her close, her back to his front. His lips ghosting her ear, sending shivers down her spine. 

“I want this, I just don’t feel good about myself. I’m much older than I was last time, my body aches everywhere, I feel rubbish and this baby keeps kicking my bladder” 

Jakob rubbed his hands over Jeans stomach, the baby kicking against his palm. 

“Hey, just relax…trust me?” Jakob whispered softly. 

“Mmmm” Jean mumbled, growing distracted by the touch of Jakob’s finger.

His fingers stroked gently over her belly, further south to the tops of her legs, teasing her gently while his lips peppered kisses round her neck. Nipping softly at the delicate skin before soothing it with his tongue. 

“More” Jean almost sobbed desperately. 

Jakob smiled into her neck, sucking a little harder while his fingers found her centre, slowly tracing her intimate skin, dancing through the pleasure she gave him. 

“Ohhh” 

“Hmmm…you like that?” 

“Mmmmm yes” 

His growing bulge pushed happily into her lower back, begging for attention. He was just as desperate to feel her, but never wanted to make her feel uncomfortable. The way she writhed in his arms told him she wanted more, her body soft and limp under his touch. 

“Trust me” 

With a care like Jean had never experience before, Jakob entered her from behind, slow and gentle, tuning in to every quake of pleasure, ensuring Jean was perfectly comfortable.

“Is that okay?” 

“More than okay”

“You say if you need me to stop, Jean” Jakob husked, his voice filled with arousal. 

Although Jean couldn’t see Jakob’s face from their position, she could picture the arousal in his eyes, the way his blue eyes sparkled when he was on the edge, the way his face softened and shone. She moaned appreciatively at the sensations, the way his hand gently squeezed her breast, being extra careful knowing how sensitive they were. 

“Your so beautiful Jean, so beautiful” Jakob whispered, over and over in her ear. 

His breath tickled the shell of her ear, his lips barley touching her skin to leave feather like kisses. She was so close, his loving touch bringing her to the point of no return, their movements in perfect sync, breaths panting, eyes fluttering bodies tensing as they both fell over that edge together, wrapped tightly in the others embrace. 

Jakob panted and kissed Jean softly, pulling out and leaning over to capture her lips in a lazy, pleasure filled kiss. “I got you Jean” 

Jean was laid back on the sofa, feet propped up and cushions supporting her back, admiring Jakob as he cooked their dinner, humming some Swedish song Jean had never heard of. 

“You know, this is a really wonderful view” Jean mused, her eyes drawn to Jakob’s broad chest. 

“Hmmm…you must rest Jean, no more exertion today” 

“I can still look” 

“Close your eyes, I said rest” 

“But I’m not tired, we napped already” 

Although his back was to her, she knew he was smirking to himself, remembering their earlier passion. 

“You drive me crazy woman” He muttered, as he shut the oven. 

“Can I have a kiss?” 

“I am making you food” 

“Yeah, but it’s cooking…you can come kiss me while we wait” 

Jakob wanted to argue, not because he didn’t want to kiss her, but because he could not promise to stop. Her seductive voice laced with desire was too much for him to ignore. In just a few short strides he was by her side, perched on the very edge of the sofa, face in his hands as he kissed her thoroughly, taking her breath away. 

Soft moans filled the air, mingled with sharp intakes of breath when breathing became necessity. Hands wandered braising, lips fused together as tongues mingled, their moans growing louder.

“OH MUM!” Otis cried as he walked through the door with Eric in tow. 

“Jean!” Eric chuckled, laughing more at Otis discomfort than what he saw. 

Jakob didn’t bother to move from his position, only pulling back slightly. After the incident at his house when he was caught with his jeans round his ankles, a make out session was nothing on the embarrassment scale. Jean just rolled her eyes, a faint blush creeping across her cheeks. 

“We were just kissing Otis” Jean informed matter of factly. 

“Well…I would appreciate not seeing it”

“I saw you kiss my daughter once” Jakob grinned as he made his way towards Otis, patting his shoulder in a friendly manner. 

“Yeah well…I wasn’t on top of her” 

“Definitely not on top of her” Eric added.

Jakob was still grinning, busying himself with food, Jean still fairly sedated on the sofa. 

“So, Eric are you staying for dinner?” Jean asked, having missed her surrogate son.

“Yeah, if that’s okay Jean” 

“Always Eric, your family” 

After the meal, Otis and Eric took over the sofa, watching some film on the bigger screen while Jakob and Jean cleared up. 

“Yo Otis, your mum is properly in love” Eric whispered, a bright grin on his face. 

“Hmmm…” 

“Be happy for her” 

“I am, I just…I have never seen her like this.” 

“It’s a good thing” 

“No, I know it is…I am glad she’s happy.” 

“Are you and Jakob getting on okay?” 

“Yeah, I mean we had a chat at the school play, so I was kind of cool with him…and we talked a few weeks back, he’s a good guy” 

Otis moved his gaze across the room to his mum and he smiled. Jakob had her in his arms, rocking her on the spot as they spoke softly between themselves, her eyes bright and watery, a smile radiating from her. 

Years of watching his dad’s behaviour had left Otis unsure how a man should treat a woman. His mum had done an amazing job of teaching him how to be a gentleman, but it wasn’t the same as seeing a father figure with your own eyes. How Jakob did so much for his mum, how he appreciated her, looked after her and loved her, it all gave Otis the perfect example to follow. 

Later that evening after Eric had left and Jean was soaking in the bath, Otis took the opportunity to speak with Jakob quietly. He approached the outside balcony, finding Jakob sorting through a box of pictures. 

“Ah Otis” 

Otis smiled, taken aback that Jakob had heard him hovering in the doorway. 

“I ahm, I just wanted to say I…I am glad you’re here, in my life”

Jakob fought his instincts to frown, not wishing to make Otis feel as though his words were not appreciated. He was however surprised. 

“Well, I am pleased to have another male around” Jakob replied, feeling his words were inadequate. 

“Well, you may have your own boy soon” Otis suggested, secretly hoping for a sister.

“Hmm…It will be a girl” 

“I thought you were keeping it a surprise?” 

“We are, but I make wonderful daughters” Jakob grinned. “I know girls, and your mother would like a daughter of her own” 

Otis hoped his mother’s wish was purely so she could have one of each and not a fear of having another version of himself. 

“Do you not want a son?” 

Jakob continued flicking through his pictures, no longer looking to Otis. 

“I have you, yes?” 

A smile spread across Otis lips, twitching as he fought to hide his pleasure at being considered a son to Jakob.

“Yeah, yeah” 

“Come sit” 

Otis nodded and joined Jakob at the table. 

“This is my girls when they were small” 

The box was large, filled with various pictures, many of Ola and Elena, a few of Jakob with his girls and a couple with a woman, Otis assumed to be his late wife. 

“Is that your…”

“Margo” 

“Your wife?” 

“Yes…Ola looks so much like her don’t you think?” 

Otis took the picture, surprised at the likeness between the woman and Ola. 

“She does…she is…was erm, a pretty lady” Otis stuttered awkwardly. 

“She was beautiful, full of life, a sparkle in her eye. Very, cheeky a prankster” 

Otis smiled, unsure how to respond. Jakob noted Otis slight discomfort. 

“Your mother is beautiful also…she has eyes bluer than the ocean and a smile that lights up a room. She is not as confident as my late wife, it is…endearing” 

Otis frowned, no one had ever described his mother as shy, or less confident than another. 

“My mum is confident, far too confident…she, she has no shame, talks about anything and…”

“It is an act, a mask she hides behind. I am just saying, your mother has a far softer, emotional side, I am privileged that she has shown me that side” 

Otis thought of all the arguments they had shared over the years, the way his mum would take herself off and not return until she could smile. He only knows considered the possibility she was off crying, too afraid to show him that side.

“Do you think it’s because of how my dad treated her?”

Jakob stretched out in his seat, eyes glancing the now moonlit sky. 

“Possibly, but I believe that also made her stronger” 

“Do you think you could ever love me mum like you loved your wife?” 

It was a difficult question, one that Jakob had struggled with since his wife died. The emotional turmoil her death caused him, the pain he went through and the struggle he faced to build himself back up. There was a time where he never considered the possibility of finding love again, but when Jean came into his life, he realised it was possible to love again. 

“I do love your mum like I loved my wife.”

“I’m glad, mum deserved to be loved” 

“Just not on the couch?” Jakob laughed. 

Otis smiled and nodded, hoping the dark sky masked the blush on his cheeks. 

“I appreciate how you treat my mum; I am glad my brother or sister will have a good example to follow” 

“I appreciate you saying that Otis…now I need to go check on your mother, make sure she doesn’t stay awake too late” 

Otis nodded, remaining at the table, basking in the glow of the night.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our favourite couple, finally have their baby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in update, life got in the way.   
> Possible last chapter but I will see what else I can come up with, maybe a follow up story?   
> Enjoy

It was still night, or maybe very early morning, the sky painted with a slow burning dusty pink and orange glow that signalled the sign of the imminent sunrise. Jean cradled a hot water and lemon in her hands, her robe wrapped snug around her as far as her bump allowed, as she breathed in the morning air. A chill blew inside her robe, sending shivers across her porcelain skin. The light ache in her lower belly that had awoken her half hour before, grew slightly worse. 

“Hmmmm” 

Her breath fogged slightly in front of her as she hummed through the feeling. She had crept from her bed silently, determined not to disturb Jakob from his own sleep. She felt sure it was Braxton hicks, something she had dealt with quite easily with Otis. 

The early morning birds chirped happily in the distance, the sky gradually glowing brighter the longer Jean sat outside.

“Jean” 

A gentle hand caressed Jean’s shoulder, fingers tickling down her arm as she turned to see Jakob looking down at her, concern written across his brow. 

Jean took Jakob’s hand in hers, tracing the rough skin of his knuckles, the callouses from his labour. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you” 

“You didn’t, I woke, and the bed was empty” 

“I couldn’t sleep”

“Is everything okay with the baby?” 

Jakob pulled up a chair, sitting in front of Jean, her legs pulled between his own as he stroked the exposed skin of her thighs where her silk nightdress had risen. 

“Yes, everything is fine” Jean whispered, her chest tightening as she lied. 

Blue eyes of steel searched her own, so bright in the dark sky. 

“Okay fine, I had some cramping, a dull ache but I am certain it’s Braxton hicks, I didn’t want to worry you”

“Jean” Jakob sighed. 

He leant his body in closer, his hands tracing higher to her waist, edging her into his arms.

“Don’t keep things from me Jean, even to protect me”

Jean’s body sagged in his warm embrace, relishing in his comfort, their bump firmly planted between them. 

“I’m sorry” 

Jakob kissed Jeans cheek, ghosting across her ear and down to her neck, sucking softly unaware of the pleasant bruise he created in the dark. 

“Mmmmm, if you don’t stop that we will be getting caught by Otis in another compromising position” 

“I *kiss* don’t *kiss* mind *kiss*” 

“Ahhhh mmmm, I don’t think we have another…ahhhhmmmm life left with Otis, we Ooooo mmm have used, oh, oh quite a …ahhh few” 

Jakob’s tongue worked wanders across Jean’s neck and collar bone, while his hands caressed up her thighs, dancing closer and closer to her pleasure centre, moaning delightedly. 

“We can take this back upstairs” 

“Ohhh..mmmm, yes” 

Jakob stood first, moaning as he tore himself away from Jean’s skin, reaching out his hands to lift her from her chair.

“Oh ahh!” Jean cried, doubling over. 

“Jean! Did your…” 

“Water just break…yes” 

The hospital was airy and bright, with happy cheery nurses and doctor parading in and out of her room, talking sweetly to her with calming voices and reassuring words. However, this only annoyed Jean, her pain levels growing the minutes, her frustration and irritant levels skyrocketing with every tightening in her stomach. 

“Ahhh god…why is this taking so long” Jean sobbed, clinging to Jakob’s hand. 

“Jean, it takes time…just breath” 

“Don’t tell me to breath, I KNOW HOW TO BREATHEEEEEE!” 

Jakob smirked through the pain in his hand, sure that blood had been drawn from the nails Jean sunk into his palm. He held her as she breathed through the contraction, a momentary flashback to his late wife’s birthing experience. 

“I forgot how hard this is” 

“It will all be worth it my Jean, when our baby is here in our arms…”

“Ooooooo ahhhh!” 

Jean tried desperately to curl into Jakob’s arms, holding on tightly to his hand, afraid to let go. 

Hours ticked by with very slow progress, nurses kept checking in on both baby and mother, Jakob whispered reassuring words to Jean while Otis and Ola popped in and out, settling on waiting outside, neither particularly comfortable with witnessing the pain. 

“Jean, I think we’re almost there” 

The midwife edged over to Jean, settling at her feet as she checked her. Other medical professionals monitored the machine’s, keeping an extra close eye on Jean and the baby. Jean wanted to be pleased at the added attention, an addition due to her age, however it was growing increasingly claustrophobic. 

“Please say I can push” Jean sobbed. 

“You’re at ten centimetres, It’s time” 

After hours upon hours of tears and screams, Jean and Jakob were finally able to hold their baby in their arms. Jakob perched on the edge of the bed, Jean cradling the tiny bundle to her chest, stroking softly at her chubby cheeks. 

“I forgot how tiny they are when their born” Jean sobbed, her emotions overwhelming her exhausted body. 

“They grow so quickly thought” 

“Are you happy?” 

Jakob burrowed his brow, his arms tightening around Jean, a large hand over Jeans that cradled their baby. 

“I couldn’t be happier Jean, I have all I need, our baby has completed us” 

Jean smiled a watery smile, tilting her head to stem the tears. 

“Gosh, these hormones are driving me crazy” 

Jakob leaned in to kiss away the tears, moving lower to capture Jean’s lips in a searing kiss. A soft knock at the door disturbing their moment as their other children appeared. 

“We don’t need another baby” Elena moaned, but her tone was light. 

Jean grinned, proud to see her big baby and stepdaughters. 

“So…do we have a brother or sister?” Ola asked giddily, the gender-neutral blanket and hat giving nothing away. 

Jean laughed a sleepy laugh at the young girl’s enthusiasm. Her joy alone kept the room alive. 

“Meet your baby sister” Sobbed Jean. 

“Oh yay!” Ola cried moving in closer to see. 

“Sorry Otis, I guess it’s just you and me” Jakob grinned. 

Otis smiled, a joyous grin, an overwhelming sense of protection for the tiny bundle, more than happy to have a sister. He patted Jakob’s shoulder, nodding happily.

“I’m sure we will survive” Otis laughed. 

Jean eyed her proud son, her heart swelling at the unshed tears in his eyes. 

“Do you want to hold her?” Jean asked softly. 

Otis looked to both Ola and Elena, unsure if they would be disappointed that he was the first. Both girls nodded excitedly towards him, happy to wait their turn. Jakob moved over to his older girls, allowing Otis to get closer and take the baby. 

“Support her head” 

Otis nodded, hardly moving an inch as he held on protectively. 

“I don’t want to break her” 

“You won’t break her” Elena laughed, but she to looked nervous. 

After plenty of cuddles and praise for Jean, a few check-ups and an outfit change, the older children were begging to know the name. 

“So, does she have a name?” Ola asked. 

Jakob grinned at Jean, as he rocked his baby girl in his arms.

“Sofia Nyman” 

“Aww I love it” 

“Cute, I accept that” Elena chuckled. 

Otis smiled but remained silent. 

“Otis, are you okay?” Jean asked worriedly. 

“Hmmm, yes” 

Jakob sensed Otis might need some space to talk with his mum, he ushered his girls out the room to grab some food and drinks, leaving Otis with Jean and Sofia. 

“What’s wrong Otis?” 

Otis shuffled awkwardly, avoiding his mother’s gaze as he prepared to tell her what was on his mind. 

“Are you and Jakob going to get married?” 

“What, no…Otis I…I think if that’s happens it’s a long way off, we have enough going on” 

“Oh…right” 

“Why, would that bother you?” 

“I just…” Otis perched on the bed. “Would you take his name?” 

Jean smiled, her eyes barely staying open. 

“I would probably hyphenate my name…I remained a Milburn so we would share the same name, I won’t lose that connection Otis” 

“Oh…okay good” 

“Sweetheart, you will always be my baby, you know, that right?” 

“Yes mum, I know” 

“I love you darling” 

“I love you to”


End file.
